MIX LEMONed JELLY

Team-mate tales

2010-05-30T23:14:00.008+08:00

Hi everyone!

I think I have a lot to tell you; including my B-Day, Basketball friendly at INTI COLLEGE, and…..

I’ve been trying to find the time to write in the Blog about my recent life.

Well, once again, the blog I’m about to post is one of the few I wrote in March, which might not be the latest news but I’ll post it anyway.

And I REALLY REALLY want to thank you for all those messages for my B-Day, and ….. Everything else….

Today, maybe I’ll just talk about my basketball team and team-mates tales and gives some inside track on my compadres.

Best trainer – Jo. He’s such a good passer, and his team always wins in training.
Worst trainer – I’d say Gian and Paul. They must be saving themselves for the games.
Who’s the fittest member of the squad? Matt or Paul. They’re both explosive players and can run at the same pace in the last minute of a game as they can in the first.
Who tries out the most outrageous skills? Obvious… Jeremy. Matt tries to compete, but to no avail!
Most competitive and toughest players? Matt, Darren, and Jo. There are some big knocks every time playing with them. Maybe they don’t like their team-mates. =.=’
Does anyone play out of position? No, the captain Jo doesn’t let us. Back in the day I used to play up front in training. But that was stopped – [LAUGHS] I think I was too much of a threat to the forwards. LOL
Joker in the dressing room – The sly joker is Darren. People don’t suspect him, but when something’s going on he is normally involved. Jon and Darren are always at the centre of pranks with player’s clothes. Me? I don’t get involved. It’s not my game. I’m a very mature member of the squad now so I don’t get drawn into young boy’s antics! LOL
Most intelligent player – Edwin would like to think he’s the most intelligent. I’d probably put myself up there, though [LAUGHS]. But seeing as Edwin thinks he’s the most intelligent, let’s let him believe it. Ha-ha...
Person you’d least like to have on your quiz team – Got to be Ando (Andus). Considering he joined the squad at the same time as Ah Han, Ando’s English is shocking by comparison! Ah Man is holding talks in English and Ando struggles to hold a conversation with the lads. He wouldn’t get us many answers. LOL
Best dressed – I’d say the person puts the most effort in is Jeremy. He doesn’t just wake up, go into his wardrobe and throw something on. He tries really hard. Every day his clothes are a planned event.
Worst dressed – Jared! I say that purely for the electric blue shirt he wore one night out once. It was shocking. It was one of the worst colours that I’ve ever seen. The thing is, he’d saved it just for that occasion as well. Ha-ha…
Best dressing room music – Mine. My iPod has by far the greatest variety of music; 80s pop, 80s soul, reggae, dance, electronic, old house music… there’s a mixture there. Unfortunately, some of the young lads don’t appreciate old Hacienda music. Ryan likes to get involved with selecting dressing room music. He tends to cater for the lads a bit more with his Euro pop. To be fair to him he mixes it up with a bit of R’n’B. But he doesn’t have the variety and depth of music knowledge that I have. Ryan, sorry for the self-praising. LOL

STORM

2010-05-02T19:55:00.008+08:00

I want to update.

I type something then I press the backspace button. Will you be interested in reading how my week went?

I'm not gonna type it anyway instead I came out with this thesis result of mugging up too much MICROBIOLOGY. Hah.

Exam is like a VIRUS. They are non-living when they are not in a host (when exam has yet to come) but they exhibit living characteristics when they infect a host in this case a STUDENT. They excrete their DNA which as we all knows questions to cause parasitic effects to their host. The prevention method normally taken is using a vaccine which in this case is "STUDYING" which can build WBCs (knowledge) to kill this virus before they exert pathological effects. But if prevention methods are not taken, how? There is also curative step that a student may take which is "COPYING" like a bacteria, we can try to exhibit genetic transfer via "CONJUGATION". We may accept genetic material (ANSWERS) from donors (those smart/ immune ones) through contact (or maybe having eagle eyes =.='). If both prevention and curative methods are not taken, the patient (STUDENT) will suffer from pathological effects such as psychosis, severe panic attacks, and so on~. Finally, when the results announce (D-Day), failure indicates DEATH.

Copyright may be bought for $4.44

The price chosen simply indicates that the writer is on the verge of destruction~

Till next time~!!!!

MESSIAH

2010-04-28T21:18:00.013+08:00

Sorry for the lack of updates, been stressing more about my finals preparation. Two more weeks and I'll be done and over with the horrendous finals.

For the past week, I've been totally absorbed in revision. In fact, I've barely set foot beyond my house at all. But I did somehow manage to finish microbiology in time!

Anyway, just to relax my mind a little after the many hours of REVISING. Hahaha.

I gotta say my mum has the lamest humour. LOL.

# WHICH IS MORE TALKATIVE? Bread or Coffee?

ANSWER: BREAD, because BreadTalk but Kopitiam. =.='

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Forgive me for writing about this so long after the fact.

I watched THE IMAGINARIUM OF DOCTOR PARNASUS.

I still don't really understand.

I cannot really understand movies like that.

But I'll still act like I understand. =.='

It's so boring at the start but it's alright as it goes on.

I watched it in Summit. I bought KAYA BALLS! And another reason that I couldn't concentrate on the movie is because I remember telling myself not to finish the food before the movie actually start. So I kept on thinking like I'll eat it every 15 minutes. There goes the "predicting" of 15 minutes.

Then it turns out to be THE IMAGINARIUM OF DELICIOUS KAYA BALLS.

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Belief in God

Loyalty to King and Country

Upholding the Constitution

The Rule of Law

Decorum and Morality

These are the principles of Rukun Negara (Duh!). It felt weird having to answer them in English, considering the fact that I've been reciting the Rukun Negara in Malay throughout my schooling years. Ah... memories. Now that I'm done with LAN subjects for good, it's time to shift my focus and start revising for those core subjects.

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Today, I saw my Dad using Facebook so I taught him how to use the chat function.

Then I said, 'You can also appear offline if you want you know. Come, I teach you.'

and then my Dad said...

'Nevermind, no need... I don't lie one.'

Arrghh... LOL!

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These were all taken by my camera. Hahaha.

Disney. Fail. XD

Emo monkey. Fail. XD

Printer reproducing. Fail. XD

Syok sendiri Fail. XD

Can't wait for the semester break~!!!!!!

shake-a shake-a boom boom.

PRANA

2010-03-15T15:53:00.004+08:00

I have a well-kept family secret, which doesn't involve 13 herbs and spices. Here's a hint - thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbour (one of the Ten Commandments in Christianity).

{Dear Lord, what I'm about to relate next may be unpleasant, but I'm not spreading false rumours about my neighbour. The stories below are true! I don't mean to humiliate him. It's just that...I can't stand his antics any longer. Please forgive me. Amen.}

A little bio-data about my next-door neighbour (let's refer to him as Mr. X). Mr. X is in his 50s, married but childless. Instead, the husband and wife have a dog named Hero (this is their 3rd dog, the other was given to their friends). If you take a walk down my street, you'll see that their house is the only one whose front porch is covered excessively. Nobody knows why. Just so you know, my family is not the only one that dislikes him! Mr. X is not well-liked among the other neighbours as well. His wife is kinda low profile though.

The things Mr. X does to annoy my family:

1. He complains about the smoke from my Dad's car that enters his house. He even asked Dad to park the other way round so that the car's rear end doesn't face his house. Obviously, Daddy didn't comply. When the unbearable stench of his pet reaches our home, did we go whining at him? NO. Guess what? Last month, he installed a freaking fan near the place where his dog sleeps!! Great. Just great.

2. My Dad goes to work around 7 a.m., sometimes earlier. Upon hearing Dad coming out of the house, Mr. X will always reverse his car and park it in front of his house. Sometimes, he purposely open his bloody automatic gate widely. The reason? To prevent Dad from reversing his car to his area.

3. Mr. X have the tendency to bathe his dog in front of his house. That's fine, until the part where he puts on plastic gloves and start cleaning up the dog's butt . Not forgetting, Hero's butt is facing our house. Sometimes, Mum will discover used tissues scattered near our gates. The culprit is rather obvious, isn't it?

4. I can't remember exactly when and why, but Mr. X and another neighbor had engaged in a war of words one morning. The argument was a minor one though. He had the guts to tell his neighbor not to shout at him when he himself is doing it. Damn you grouchy, old man! No one talks such unreasonable like that!!

We have been neighbours for more than a 5 years, if I'm not mistaken. Frankly speaking, my family is immuned to his antics already. Like they say, ignorance is bliss. Oh yeah, this morning, Mr & Mrs X tried to matchmake their dog with another canine whose owner lives nearby. I overheard them saying,

"Hero...come sayang-sayang (insert the owner's canine name, which I don't know). Don't be shy..."

Luckily I have not eaten my breakfast yet, otherwise I might just puke on the spot. My sibling was once told me she overheard them during a previous canine-matchmaking session. Mr. X was like,

"Hero...go on top!"

Oh. Em. Gee.

Arrghh~!!!!!!

Love Is In The Air

2010-02-20T23:15:00.019+08:00

Cupid working hard!

For those who have left the gates of the school, do you still remember the times when February 14 of each year came? Both boys and girls love to portray their feelings in gifts and sometimes the luckier ones receive secret admirers and gifts from don't know who! Those were exciting times and moments when you were geeky and innocent. Innocent in believing that love is in the air! That love lasts and you are happy ever after. Life out there is never a bed of roses. Love too is never a bed of roses. Somehow when one grows up knocks are hard, tough and things are never that sugary as the sweet times in school.

Unlike poles attract...

Chains to chain you...

The boy-girl factor...

Secret messages well concealed...

Uncle Toby for you love...

The evergreen symbol of affection...

The mug of love...

Daily reminders when you take your beverage...

Oh yes, I am the boy and you are the girl...

The emblem of love at the cost of your poor parents' money... RM 10.00 for one? Then to find yourself being dumped for another ... Hahaha...take it easy!

Very often this expression of love will appear at the envy of others... that love will last forever!

As you remember others, do not forget that your parent can also be your Valentine and entitled to a little bit of your love.

Happy Valentine's Day Everyone!

You Have No Idea

2010-02-17T18:41:00.010+08:00

I haven’t written for a while because I’ve been even more insanely busy than usual, and haven’t even had the chance to reflect at all. Since it’s been so long, I’m going to touch on a number of different topics.

The first one is gonna be rather sentimental than the usual ones.

A couple of days ago, I had a tiny argument with somebody through text messages. What I could not understand is how can that person say something so unreasonable and didn't make sense to me. Maybe I had misinterpreted it the wrong way. I really don't know. I did not show much anger in my reply (didn't use exclamation marks and caps), but more to questioning 'why' and 'how can'. Deep inside I was actually very uncomfortable and my perception towards that someone changed, for the worse. Somehow or rather, I think that person could sense that I was not very pleased or either someone else told her because today that person texted me to apologize. Its funny how a simple 'SORRY' can make me feel so much better about the whole incident. That person claimed that frustration was kicking in therefore leading to such a message.

Another example was worse. This certain someone rang me up out of the blue and yelled at me about why did I spread such rumours. I was so confused I did not know what he was talking about and then I told that person to chill (when I was actually getting angry myself for getting yelled at for no reason). Few minutes later, that person texted and apologized profusely in a row for throwing a fit and explained what ticked that person off. Again, when 'SORRY' was mentioned, I myself felt better and calmed down.

I don't know if you guys get what I'm trying to say. I guess I'm the kind of person who will wait for a 'SORRY' (and for that person to actually mean it) when I'm pretty sure I did not do anything wrong. My dad used to preach saying 'Oh, do not wait for that person to say sorry then only forgive. Just forgive that person anyhow.' I am trying my very best to pick up that attitude.

As for now, although sorry seems to be the hardest word, it definitely plays a great impact on forgiveness and mending a relationship.

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I succeeded...

I succeeded... in pulling a prank on my younger sister today. I was on my way to Sunway Pyramid with a friend so we parked at Carrefour to use the KTM after that. Coincidently, I managed to spot my sister's car parked nicely there. I got pretty excited and thought of a brilliant idea. I quickly asked my friend if she had a pen and paper. She said yes, so I took the marker pen and scribbled, 'HELLO, I KNOW WHAT YOU DID IN THE TRAIN. =.=' Because duh, I know how she gets to work everyday. I thought the plan was gonna fail anyway, since I did not try to forge somebody else's handwriting or anything.

MANA TAU, when I came back home a few minutes ago.. I saw that she was still awake, so I calmly asked her, 'Is there anything you would like to ask or tell me?'

She replied blurly, 'Huh?? Tell what? No..'

She didn't get what I was trying to ask her!

So I tried again for the second time, 'Really, there's nothing you wanna tell me?'

She answered, 'Tell what??'

Then I was frustrated already, so I continued, 'When you went to your car today, you didn't see anything?'

She replied, 'Ohhhh..*with a smile*' (At this point I thought she already knew it was me..but NO..) when she continued, 'Mummy told you is it?' (WAH, still so blur!! She doesn't know it's me yet!)

I just had to burst out laughing. 'It was me laaa!!'

Then she had to cover up, 'Stupid, no wonder the handwriting so ugly lah.'

HAHAHAHA LAME!

Growth That Can't Be Seen Is Still Growth

2010-01-29T14:09:00.005+08:00

A shot of yesterday morning's clear blue sky. The exact opposite of what I felt when I woke up this morning. For the first time since I began the first day of the year, I rebelled against myself and woke up much later than usual. I tossed and turned in bed the night before carrying with me the weight of the world to sleep. I was overwhelmed merely by the thought of the many tasks I need to start tackling in the coming weeks. I woke up suddenly at 9am when I thought I heard someone call my name from outside. At that moment I knew I was alone at home. So I was on guard at a millisecond upon disconnecting from dreamland. I peered out the window. No one. Not a soul. I sat up in bed replaying the memory of sound I thought I had heard. I dismissed it as part of my dream. Hmm.

I'm feeling much better now after starting the day with a pleasant breakfast and a good book to read. Sometimes you do lose sight of what's important. Now and then I'd take a step back and remind myself that I have come a long way. It's so easy to forget that once upon a time you would've given everything to be where you stand today. Instead of being grateful we often torment ourselves and think about the next thing we don't yet have. It'll just be like passing life by if we don't stop every now and then to appreciate how much we've grown.

Some growths are not immediately visible to our eyes. Although I'm the kind of person who "knows" that Rome wasn't built in a day, there are times when not seeing immediate results can be really discouraging. This is perhaps something I need to remind myself every day, that instead of worrying about the end results I should just focus on what I can put into each day. Every day. A step at a time.

Avatar Depression?!

2010-01-24T11:22:00.005+08:00

As I thought it would, Avatar took off really well, but I am amazed that there are people suffering from Avatar Depression (also known as Avatar Blues). If you haven’t heard about it, Avatar Depression/Blues affects those who has seen the movie and long to be one of the Na’vi who live in the beautiful world of Pandora.

After watching the movie, I will have to agree with those who think Pandora is a beautiful world. It’s a place where one can be in peace with nature, and literally be one with animals. If it was real, it would be a wonderful place to live in.

On the other hand, although I’m not a media student but I have learnt that movies will be movies. Movies have people working in the background to make what we see become a real and believable entity. Movies have directors who envision how they want people to feel from what they see.

After all, the more educated people are, the more skeptical they get. They have to make it as real as possible and this time, their hard work paid off! I’m just surprised that people can be duped into wanting to be somewhere that doesn’t exist in our reality. Although I have to say, one can always dream…

A random story about a lizard

2010-01-17T12:33:00.011+08:00

This is a completely random story but I just want to share with you. Sorry for the awful drawing using paint.

This morning, while I was driving to get my breakfast, guess what caught my eye?

A huge lizard on the passenger’s side window

A lizard clinging for dear life on the window at the passenger’s side. It was bigger than the palm of my hand and it was in a hideous brown colour with reddish spots.

It kind of blocked my left side mirror too and it was annoying the hell out of me.

So I pounded the accelerator hoping to loosen its grip on the window. However, it was damn jam, so that was unsuccessful. For 15 minutes I struggled and hoped the lizard won’t make its way inside the car through some exposed gap.

Anyway, after I turned onto Federal Highway, the traffic was much better and I was able to drive faster.

I hit the pedal and it went up to 120kmh and I heard a bloop sound (lizard hitting side mirror) and then it vanished.

And as I looked in the rear mirror, I saw it flying in a rotating manner before landing on the ground.

From the rear view mirror, it looked like a flying mini Vitruvian man

I drove back to home in utter satisfaction that I managed to get a lizard off my car.

The Crabbing Experience and Unfortunate Incidents

2010-01-07T09:25:00.001+08:00

We went crabbing earlier at somewhere near Nilai and it was fun! Managed to catch a few crabs but they were undersized so we had to release them. Crabs can only be caught if they’re more than 12.7cm long from the sharp tips of their shell to the other end. It was pretty frightening when they crawled over my feet because I was afraid they would pinch me with their pincers. They have an incredible grip! We were using metal “nets” attached to a pole to catch them and they were gripping on to the poles like there’s no tomorrow. After a tug-of-war match with the crabs, they decided to let go and surrender their fates to us humans. Muahaha! Unfortunately when we got to measure them, they were undersized as well, so we had to let them go.

One of my friend got pinched by a huge one, and managed to put a tiny hole in his feet! Grr… I think it’s time for revenge… IF we go back next time.

When some of the guys went back to the car, they found the car window smashed in and one of my friends’ belongings were stolen! He had some very expensive items in his bag and the usual stuff like credit cards, license, and so on. It was very unfortunate, but there’s a saying that goes, “You lose something, but you’ll gain something else.” We went to the police station right after. Hopefully the police will catch those responsible!

Thankfully nothing else went missing. A couple of friends who were with us actually took a backpack to carry their valuables with them, so I think the next time we go, we’re definitely bringing a backpack.

Making Pancakes = Therapeutic?!!!!

2010-01-02T14:53:00.002+08:00

~ I wrote this blog more than 2 weeks ago. It's a bit late, but since I wrote it, I'll post it anyway.

Making Pancakes Are Therapeutic

Well for me at least :)

Few weeks ago I suddenly had the urge to learn to make pancakes after being struck by a lovely memory of the good ol' morning breakfasts I had back home. I have always been a breakfast person. I love it when I can take my sweet time to enjoy the first meal of the day. Especially when the sunlight is still shy and the air still lingers with a little midnight chill. Breakfast is a ritual. When I'm not in a rush that is.

Lately I found that this pancake making thing has been quite therapeutic. I don't know why but there's a jolly beat in my heart and I'm practically humming my way through pancake flips! Haha.

OK, so this may not be the prettiest pancake you've ever seen, but it was still yummy!!!!
Honey, is ESSENTIAL!!!!

Dear lovelies,

I know I said I'll be posting lots of updates once I was done with the finals and all. But obviously there hasn't been much of an update going on. I still had lots to do it seems and even more so now since Christmas is just around the corner! Perhaps you can expect some holiday updates....hmmm. I'm currently going through a tough period right now... but I'm determined not to let this crush me. I've got no where else to go but forward. Pray for me, dears! Anyway, thank you for dropping by :) Please keep checking for updates ^o^

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This morning I enjoyed my cup of green tea with toast and some cookies. At the last sip I was about to open my blog when I hit the wrong link. I was directed to my old blog. I let the page load and that's when I noticed this comment:

I know it's silly but it made me laugh. Tee-hee. Perhaps it was the green tea kicking in. What a nice way to start the day :)

2010

2010-01-01T00:55:00.004+08:00

My wishes for you in year 2010
Great start for Jan,
Love for Feb,
Peace for March,
No worries for April.
Fun for May,
Joy for June to Nov,
Happiness for Dec,
Have a lucky and wonderful 2010.

For last year’s words belong to last year’s language
And next year’s words await another voice.
And to make an end is to make a beginning.
Happy New Year 2010
Oh my Dear(Friends), forget your fear,
Let all your dreams be clear,
Never put tear, please hear,
I want to tell one thing in your ear
Wishing you A Very Happy NEW YEAR

A Step @ A Time

2009-12-31T12:28:00.004+08:00

I’m so tired after Christmas, but it was worth all the time and effort to enjoy with friends and family here.

After all that Christmas cheer, it is time to welcome the New Year (ooh it rhymes!). As we move on ahead, we reflect on what we have done in the past year. There are some things we regret doing/saying, and there are also happy as well as the inevitable sad moments. Then there are the embarrassing episodes that we dare not speak of because we want to leave it in the past, and then there’s the mundane everyday things that past us by like a blur.

We don’t stop to question the mundane things which makes me wonder: Are we missing out on who we’ve built ourselves as during those mundane moments?

I believe that what we do everyday shapes who we are and what we know, and even these little mundane activities/happenings/moments matter because of the choices we make. For instance, when I woke up today, the weather was hot and I was still sleepy but decided not to go back to sleep so I can maintain regular sleeping hours. I could have woken up late and gotten up later at… 3PM? Then I wouldn’t have done much of anything, like catch a nice cold shower, spend some time writing this out while watching Behind Enemy Lines, and not know that “reconnaissance” is the American term for “reckie”.

Instead, I could have been doing a completely different set of things that are potentially unproductive.

By doing all these mundane activities, I am a little more informed. It doesn’t change the world, but it is slowly and surely changing who I am over time.

So… what mundane activities did you do today?

Merry X'mas

2009-12-30T00:45:00.019+08:00

I am sure you have all heard about rumours that KL was going to snow a few weeks back. It was announced on radio and created quite a stir. Of course we all know that it's ridiculous!!! How can a tropical country have snow falling?

Well, I experienced snowing for real in KL for the very first time 2 weeks ago. No I am not kidding :)

OK, that is not exactly true. I have actually experienced snow before in KL. It was a few years back. Serious.

After I saw some photos of snow falling down on KLCC in newspaper, I was really amused. Snowing in KL? It was downright ridiculous!!!

I think I'll believe a story about UFO sightings in KL much more than about snow falling. Haha!!! Now of course he added the 'snow' to the photo!!!

Well, 2 weeks ago, I witnessed a unique phenomenon that would certainly topped all the doomsday hype generated by the movie 2012. It was snowing in KL!!! Don't believe? Look at the photo I captured!!!

I can assure you this is not some 'trick' photo. It's really snowing!!! For the very first time in KL!!!

OK, who am I kidding? Haha!

If you don't already know, it's snowing in Pavilion KL at 8pm every night till Boxing Day!!! And of course, it's fake snow! If you believed it was real snow, then I am quite sure you believe in Santa Claus. Although there's really nothing wrong with that. Haha!!!

When I heard that Pavilion KL was going to rain snow, I just had to go there to have a look!!! I braved the traffic jam just to be there but believe me, it was worth it!!!

Ok, let us start from the beginning of my snow fall adventure, shall we?

After driving through traffic jam on the Federal Highway from Petaling Jaya, I reached Pavilion KL at about 6.30pm. It was about to get dark soon, so I quickly parked my car and hurried to the front entrance of the prestigious shopping mall.

And what did I see? Nice cute glowing reindeers!!!

The reindeers were pulling a beautiful carriage although Santa Claus was nowhere to be seen!!!

Nice glowing trees lined the street.

Tall beautiful Christmas trees welcomed visitors to the mall.

Since there was still half an hour left before the scheduled snow fall at 8pm, I went inside the mall to snap more pictures.

It was a Royale Christmas at Pavilion! There seemed to be a band performing music.

I did not stay long to watch as it was soon time for the snow to fall!!! So I went out of the mall and positioned myself at the best spot to snap some photos of the snow fall. There was already a huge crowd waiting in anticipation for the countdown to the snow fall.

The emcee invited the crowd to start the countdown. It was fun!

10 - 9 - 8 - 7 - 6 .....

We all looked up.

5 - 4 - 3 .....

I was practically shouting aloud and getting my camera ready!

2 - 1 .....!

I could see snow shooting out from the sides of the building!!!

Snow was raining down!!!

It was practically snowing in KL! Yippee!!

Of course it was just foam and not real snow, but who cares?

Everyone was busy snapping away!!!

At the beginning of this post, I mentioned that I have seen snow falling in KL before. Yes, I did and it was at Starhill Gallery a few years back. Now it's Pavilion's turn. And it was cool!!!

Temptation

2009-12-29T10:25:00.008+08:00

My highlight of the day. What do you do when parent’s are out and you’re all alone at home and you know dad just recover from fever and don’t want to try to do anything funky to get to him?

What are you thinking of?

Come on!!! It’s not that hard to guess.

Still thinking?

Think you almost got it?

and trust me it’s oh-so-tempting.

and so bloody hard to resist.

What makes it worse is I haven’t had it in such a long time.

It’s cooking bacon and eggs!

What were you thinking?!

Well, I just haven’t had anything that’s not fat free and god knows what free in a very very long time since dad can’t have any. So few days ago, as I was buying turkey ham for dad I decided let’s do some underground job and get some bacon and hide it. Mission has been deemed successful. Sorry no pics of my work of art. Finished the food way too soon for a pic but I guess the aftermath also can. hehe.

P/S. I really wouldn’t mind ‘dessert’ at this point. *winks*

~ Special thanks to Carrot(You know who you are, my so-called COOKING MASTER.. Although you only taught me how to boil egg and cook maggi :P).. Hahahah..

Conscience

2009-12-21T23:03:00.004+08:00

It was just a few days ago where this struck my mind. Remember how in cartoons there’s always the conscience where there’s the little angel and little devil one on each shoulder telling the character what to do. It struck my mind because i somewhat do have that. No, they aren’t on my shoulder but basically i have the friend that brings out all the good in me and also the friend that unleashes my darker side where i can commit evil without guilt.

Perhaps I'm the only one who has that I don’t really know. First comes the better half of mine which seems to bring out the better part of me that seems to be angelic where I just don’t do nothing that could lead to bad outcomes. Then comes this friend of mine which I've known for over a year and everytime I'm with him, I'm definitely up to no good and it actually is fun.

It’s funny how influences work. As hard headed as I can be its hard to believe that I can be influenced as such. Maybe it’s like what my evil conscience says, “you need to fuel up both sides in order to create a balance.” Perhaps it’s true I can’t quite tell.

At the end of it I'm left to wonder only this, how do you justify good or bad? How do you define it? Because sometimes doing good could lead to bad outcomes and sometimes just by doing something bad could end up resolving a situation. So how do you really justify it? It’s a question that’s dangerous as it could question a person’s beliefs. How do you know if you are really doing something that indeed is good for all? What is there to justify so? Then comes the question of how do you differentiate heaven and hell? Is there such an existence? Or is it just merely a figment of a man’s imagination just as a drive for people so that there is no fear with unfamiliarity. I know I'm filled with questions that lead to no answer but still perhaps it’s a drive that keeps us all alive. Perhaps we’re all staying in our comfort zone unwilling to question the unfamiliar as it could or would scare the living daylights out of you. Perhaps someday we’ll know.

As for my good and dark side? Perhaps i really do need a balance or else I'd end up with a missing void in my life. Perhaps…

embarkment of a new start

2009-12-18T14:28:00.003+08:00

I wonder if you ever realized, in this world there's so much more essence undiscovered, maybe every encounter, obstacles or opportunities are parts and puzzle of what an earthling like us are to do in order to create another harmonious equilibrium to world order. A pattern so complicated yet so fine, I bet that God must have had a good time watching over us.

Somebody told me, "lets end the year with a bang!" albeit in a joking manner.
Silly as it is, but it reflects a purpose, it reflects an intention to end this year well, for the sake of great memories to ponder on and smile as you think about it in years to come. Such words exude positivism, which is great to hear once in awhile when you're a hardcore realist. When you're a Taurus. *Don't ask me why I know horoscope that much, it's my sister who told me about this :) *

In 13 days, I will need to leave another year behind me, no longer Forever 21(wait.. should be 22), no longer a fresh new adult, no more skipping classes(moral studies, intro. to history..), challenging lecturers, no more peeps you love to see everyday as well as people you resent to even smell them a mile away and curse the very bloody day they are around.

In year 2010, it's not going to be any other year I brush off lightly. This year it holds much more meaning, much more cross paths, as well as responsibilities. In year 2010, I officially embark into a total different journey or chapter of life, the question of whether will I be able to make it in society will find its answer soon enough.

I made sure I hold this belief true to my heart, "no matter what the consequences, it is not a matter of will I be able to make it, but when will I make it." I shall not settle for less, it is out of the question. But I also understand this means it comes with sacrifices. Now, as the clock ticks the year away, I'm constantly reminding myself, sacrifice now, and reap later.

There's a sky high ladder I need to climb, I'm getting myself prepared with muscle analgesic balm, isotonic solution and rope, just in case I slip and fall, at least I still have a plan B to continue this marathon, or else the rope should come in quite handy to hang myself, *laugh* or maybe someone else when they come in your way :) I'm racing against myself and time. I have 3 more years to finish my course. Only 3 more years. Hopefully my drive, determination and passion is enough for me to beat this. Wish me luck :)

Catch you later!!!! I've got a ladder to climb, not a party to attend!!!! ;)

Have a nice day.

Go on, ASSUME

2009-12-16T10:09:00.003+08:00

Been missing for a while due to a seriously hectic week and a series of unexpected events. A lot of things going on in my head as usual. Nothing out of the ordinary in that sense but eventually did hit a breaking point which my guess, someone should know.

Don’t really even know where to start.

Well, about a week ago had a glimpse of my worst nightmare. It did freak me out completely but just didn’t want to show it and I guess me doing so just allows people to assume I’m cold or one without emotions whatsoever. Just so you know, I do have emotions I just hate showing it due to always being walked all over.

For now, I’m just taking time off and straightening out what I want to do and making certain slight changes where it’s required. Don’t really know what to say right now. Just in many ways quite relieved I guess. Somehow just a blur but I will get me figured. At least I am feeling much better.

As for people I thought knew me, never knew they could end up judging me for the way I may seem cold. Its just how I keep myself safe. Had enough of crap from people so this is how I deal with it. I’m tired of giving a crap or trying so hard to please anyone. This is me. This is who I am. I have my flaws and imperfections. I can’t help it. I’m trying to be the best I can be but I finally figured I don’t need to prove it to no one but myself. So go on, assume.

Vanilla Twilight

2009-12-06T10:00:00.003+08:00

Due to lack of sleep, no proper nutrition, air pollution, yadda yadda yadda... I almost fell sick here... A dose of Zyrtec (cetrrizine) and a double dose of Vit. C, plus sleeping early helped :) No more blocked nose, yay!!!!
So today I woke up at 8.30, thanks again to my beloved friend... WHAT is up with my friends waking me up lately? Don’t you people sleep in? It’s SUNDAY for goodness sake...

Well, had my shower then had breakfast in the cafe after such a long time. I haven’t eaten breakfast in the cafe since... Um... since... wow, I can’t remember. -_-“ probably the weekend before my exam... lolz
Well, I started again today. Getting bored with breads and Maggi already, need to start eating the free food in cafe again... which my dad technically paid for already... sigh...
Anyway, It’s time to hit the books now... wish me luck!!!!

Dear God,
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
the courage to change the things I cannot accept;
and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those I had to kill today because they got on my nerves.

And also, help me to be careful of the toes I step on today
as they may be connected to the feet I may have to kiss tomorrow.

Help me to always give 100% at work...
12% on Monday
23% on Tuesday
40% on Wednesday
20% on Thursday
5% on Friday

And when I’m having a really bad day,
and it seems that people are trying to wind me up,
help me to remember:
It takes 42 muscles to frown,
28 muscles to smile and;
only 4 to extend my arm and PUNCH SOMEONE IN THE FACE!!!!

A Twist In My Story

2009-12-05T09:39:00.013+08:00

So this morning after waking up, I washed my hair... After shampooing, I was rinsing off the suds and brushing my teeth at the same time (don’t ask me why I do this, I have an inane urge to multi-task in the shower)... then at one point some shampoo suds got into my eyes and I wiped them away with my hand... After 3 seconds, my eye started to tingle lightly... Weird wasn’t it?

After a few more seconds, it started tingling in full force... and I had no idea what was causing the tingling, it was the same feeling of... of... toothpaste in your mouth (Ta-daa!!!!) -_-
So yea, I had accidentally rubbed toothpaste into my eye. Zzzzz. Well, at least it wasn’t painful...

Next scenario, I was in the administration building, getting out of the elevator. There was another girl in the lift with me. Her friend decided to ambush her and give her a shock, without knowing I was there... So as I was exiting the lift...

Miss Ambusher: *Jumping in front of me* BOOO!!!!
Me: AAAHHHHHH (screaming in shock)... Wait, Did I? Lolz
Miss Ambusher: AAAHHHHHH (screaming in fright and confusion)...
The intended victim who was in the lift with me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Another friend waiting outside the lift area: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...

-____-“

What a way to start the day... No coffee needed!!!! And my eye is STILL tingling!!!! Arrgh!!!!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

At this time next week, I would have finished my finals (3 more papers to go... include Anatomy which I’ve trouble to remember all the Anatomical terms, Anatomy is killing me... sigh...) and yet, here, creating a blog. I must be insane. I had a very nice lazy day where I went to sleep at almost 3am (was chatting with my friends till like, 2am, then did all the bedtime rituals, and had a little talk with my roomie before finally falling asleep), woke up so early (7am I think), bread was my first meal of the day, followed by Maggi, then some foods served in the cafe. I know, it’s so unhealthy but can’t help!!!! I did not do ANYTHING productive, except wash my clothes... lolz...

Right at this moment, I SHOULD BE STUDYING!!!! What the heck is wrong with me? The fact that I know I should be studying makes me unable to enjoy everything else I do (such as eating, sleeping, idly chit-chatting, reading, bathing, watching movie, procrastinating and generally, wasting time, although I did enjoy watching STEALTH last night :p and yet, when I sit down at my table, I can’t focus!!!! I tried just now, and I ended up doodling and drawing a bigger exam timetable to stick on my table. It’s there now, stuck with a Langkawi Eagle Fridge magnet, mocking me.

And I KNOW big probably I won’t be studying tomorrow because I will be going out to celebrate my friend’s birthday. Plus, my roomie is leaving to his friend’s home at SP is crucial to me not studying, because he is quite hardworking, an whenever I see him studying, I feel obliged to stare at notes for some duration of time, after which I can tell myself: “HEY, AT LEAST YOU TRIED” -___-“

I hope after tomorrow, my body will finally send a message to my brain: “You’ve had enough fun, start to concentrate on the not-so-fun stuff now”
Oh well, about to dose off... dreaming... :) Now I’m gonna go beautify this thing. Wish me luck!!!! :p

P/S. My vocal cord so itch.. feel like wanna sing during stressful mood... here I come... RED BOX!!!!

The Logic Of Pleasure

2009-11-28T22:12:00.001+08:00

I’ve been partially crazy for the past few days. It’s amazing how I can bend over notes and textbooks and exercises for hours on end continuously, and survive. Sleep deprived, mentally exhausted, physically worn out – that’s what exams are all about. They do you no good. Do I feel smarter after exams? No. Do I remember all that I’ve studied after exams? No. After regurgitating relevant pieces out onto the exam papers, the rest will simply go into the trash bin reserved for them this brain of mine. Gosh, I hate exams! Yet I study like there’s no tomorrow, simply because there IS no tomorrow if I can’t get what I’m suppose to get! What’s wrong with the creators of exams? So will it be doomsday if exams were to be abolished? Will it kill you creators to test us without grading us and taking our future as hostages?

I have been here many times before...

2009-11-27T15:38:00.004+08:00

When you were younger, you hoped to be someone great when u grow up.
You wanna be a star, you wanna change lives, you wanna build dreams...

Then as time passes along, you are faced with expectations, faults, and the harsh realities in life.
Then you realized that sometimes you can't be everything you want.
And sometimes everything you want is not exactly everything you NEED.
Then it comes to a realization that everybody has only 24 hours a day, seven days a week and 365 days a year.

You hoped that one day everything will fall into place, but somehow it never happens.
Because true enough, you never have enough time to do EVERYTHING you WANT.
You can do everything you want, just not great at it. "Jack of all trades, Master of NONE"
However you CAN be great, by choosing what you NEED. and put the rest to secondary.

But somehow you just grew so attached to the things that you build yourself to be and you can't get out of it.

Things that have intertwined in your life, that can be so potentially good in different ways, but come together and kill you from the pressure of it.

Things that require your attention like a newborn baby who cries to his mother to his every whim, and makes you feel guilty when you attend to it, but deep down inside you know there's nothing can do about it... because you have only 24 hours a day.

Things that will break your heart and rip you apart if you choose one over the other. Vice versa. Because you hold them both dear to your heart just like the back of your hands.

Things that you know will kill you if you held them tightly and refuse to choose. Things that make you stagnant, not GREAT, but just okay enough to past the day, just mediocre... Things you know that if you choose one, you will be extraordinary in it.

And in the midst of dealing with these things, when overprivilledged people come complaining how their lives are miserable, you wanna throw it back to their face and say, DAMN! IF YOU HAVE SO MUCH MISERY LIVING THE CHARMED LIFE, GO JUMP OFF THE CLIFF. LIFE'S A BITCH, DEAL WITH IT!

I'm okay, as long as you are okay

2009-11-25T22:39:00.003+08:00

If I had to go through rough patches to be where I am today, I'm okay with that.

If this is the only period of time that defines what happiness means to me, I'm okay with that.

If happiness is in the form of seeing that smile, I'm okay with that.

If this is all that we will ever have in this lifetime, I'm okay with that.

I'm thankful to have lived this long to experience the good, the bad, the bittersweet, the struggle and the understanding.

I'm thankful to know that I'm able to feel again.

I'm thankful to know that I'm still capable of love.

Life is too short to be ungrateful, so I'm thankful.

till then.

Still Got The Blues

2009-11-19T13:34:00.008+08:00

I'm not sure if you would read this, not even sure if you knew the existence of this blog. But I guess it's about time I back-off now. Don't worry, there's no obligations neither was there any expectations from you. It's just that letting you know how I feel still doesn't not get me what I want.

I need a resolution, I need to know where to go from here, I need to know if we think the same.
But I still do not know. It's unfair to me that I'm left with open ended answers with no solutions.

I have too much in my hands to handle now that it's driving me crazy. I can't stop thinking, I wish i could but i can't.
What you say or think mattered a lot to me, which becomes a burden when it's only me here feeling this way.

I'm an idiot, I know.
but for now, that's about it, I'm done.

The day doesn't end on a happy note

2009-11-16T17:07:00.006+08:00

It is very true that everybody has their own flaws. I do admit I have a very big flaw of my own too.
Some very close people to me told me that I need to chill and relax a lil'. I'm sorry that sometimes I do have quite a temper and I sincerely apologize for all the times I’ve been rude unknowingly. Really, I’m very sorry, and I’m trying to change.

But since I’m not very good in words and usually what I have to say don't really come out right, so I think writing is a better way for me to express it out more accurately. I do have something to say on my side here as well. As much as you guys are not able to tolerate my flaws, I have to voice out my issues here too.

I do not like it when we take time for granted by making people wait.
I do not feel comfortable when we make other people wait on our expense.
I know that I do turn up late sometime as well, and I’m trying to change too.
I do not like it when we do something (which comes out of bad habit), but speak of other people when other people does the same.
I do not like to give people excuses, and I hope people do not treat me the same.
Change needs to start from within ourselves, and only with that we can improve.

I'm not perfect, but I’m trying to be a better person. Thanks for letting me know, but I do hope we all reflect it upon ourselves and take some time to think about it too.
We were all friends, and I intended to be friends for a long time. I hope being honest doesn't kill the closeness that we have now, but strengthen it more. I hope you tell it to me, anything that you have in mind, because I’m sure that we can somehow handle problems with more sense and maturity, now that we've all grown up.

Till then.

Well…I'll be posting some pictures really soon!!!

Changing phases

2009-11-12T15:19:00.010+08:00

OK…… I wrote this blog more than 2 weeks ago. It sounds a bit strange, but since I wrote it, I'll post it anyway.

There are many people in this world whom they've met and crossed path. Some people walk together, only for awhile, before they part ways to search for something new when common goals have changed. Only a few would walk together till they grow old with each other.

Sometimes I’d wonder about those people whom I’ve crossed path and parted ways, about what might have or might not have happened.

Sometimes I wonder what made humans change about their perceptions. Could it be a spur of the moment? Could it be an inspiration? And why can some people change in such a short time?

If someone decides to part ways, does that mean whatever memories one have shared with another meant less than the unknown that is about to be pursued?

It made me afraid of what's left for me to take after giving all I’ve got to offer. Are memories created to make you remember of how happy you ONCE WERE? And to be taken away from you at any moment when a significant someone decides to change?

Some people dislike changes, most of us are afraid of the unknown. People need time to get used to things, or at least get over it. I HATE changes, I HATE the unknown, I'm so afraid. And I guess time isn't always available.

Sometimes it hurts me so bad when you are so selfish in your actions. It made me wonder about how much I meant to u. Sometimes it feels like u don't care about how I felt.

Does one really have to be selfish to keep the one u love by your side?

Is it worth it to go through all that and to find nothing at the other side of the rainbow?

What defines love? An affection? A feeling? Understanding? Sacrifice?

I don't know...

Things have been going really well lately, or so I thought, why the sudden?

Help me understand, I really don’t know what to expect or believe anymore.

Maybe you did what you did was the best for the both of us...I'll try to understand.

Till then.

Backup-Plan Prior Exam for Procrastinators

2009-11-11T21:33:00.002+08:00

1 Month Prior To Exam: Go Out
Shopping, sight seeing, hanging out with other procrastinators... whatever. Look around when u are out so u get inspiration on what to write when u r dumbstruck for "tembak"-style answer during exams. Or waiting to get inspired is also good. Really.

1 Week Prior To Exam: Check If Your Exam Slip is Missing
Some (most) education institute make it compulsory for students to show their exam slips (a sheet of paper consisting ur ID, subject code etc) before taking the exam. So yeah, it's good to check. N if it's there with u, at least u know u can still go take exam. If not, time to go slip hunting.

5 Days Prior To Exam: Check If Other Procrastinators Have Started Studying
If Yes, well they're just paranoid. If No, oh well, u r still good to go. :)

4 Days Prior To Exam: Burn The Midnight Oil
Start studying, it's not too late. The Ups of staying up n study late, long hours, overnight? You get impressive eye bags n dark circles which scare the hell out of your other competitors in studies that they eventually panicked during exams because they thought u studied a lot. You must play with their KIASU-NESS to win them in reverse psychology :DD

2 Days Prior To Exam: Take A Break, Treat Yourself
Midnight oil-burning is exhausting. Time to take a break, treat yourself, eat n sleep as u please so u get the energy to do it all over again the next day. More over, get inspired.

1 Day Prior To Exam: Pee, Shit and Cry
Yep, Time for panicking. The above 3 action can serve as a temporary emotional release so u can go back to work. You can also spread the love to other procrastinators by proceed to pee, shit n cry with them.

30 mins Prior To Exam: Parasite
Go around to those smart people whom u've considered as nerds and too cool to mingle with. Be nice and ask them if they have tips. Shame on you, if they've decided to ignore you because u behaved badly to them before. N u're lucky if they even bother to tell u.

5 mins Prior To Exam: Say Your Last Prayers
Pray to whatever religion u r, or just pray even when u don't have one. N promise u will not repeat the same thing ever again. Which everybody even u doubt so. K, 'nuff said.

Consequences

2009-11-10T22:49:00.001+08:00

They may not be the MOST IMPORTANT thing in the world, they may be less important to some people as compared to family, education, and to some extent, romantic relationships, but in the midst of pursuing these other "MORE IMPORTANT" things, the little things like support and encouragement from friends matters a lot. And most of the time, it's the littlest things that matter.

Ever since I was younger, I was quite a shy guy in school; I’m neither a social butterfly. But I can bravely tell you, that even though I only have a small circle of friends, they are one of the truest, lovable-est (If there's such a word), understanding, honest, most supportive kind of friends that anyone can ever have. *you know who you all are*

My social style stays the same even when I’m in university now. I don't have too many friends, but the people that I’m close with are the ones I can trust with my innermost secrets, that which I kept fiercely of theirs. I'm actually a pretty private person when it comes to personal stuff. (Hello, having a widely public blog doesn't mean everything you see here is what I really am.) And I’m very protective towards my friends.

Because...
I know they will do the same for me, ALL OF THEM.

Some peoples once commented that I was being cool and unfriendly, because I chose my friends carefully. Like hello? Where’s the brain?? Of course I have to be careful with who I’m mingling with! I won't let anybody step all over me, and I will DEFINITELY cut you off if you try to be funny with my life. You say la... WHERE GOT PEOPLE SIMPLY MAKE FRIENDS WITH EVERY TOM, NICK and HARRY ONE?? I AM NOT MOTHER TERESA AND I DON'T HAVE TO BE FRIENDLY WITH PEOPLE I'M NOT COMFORTABLE WITH!!

Phew...~

and now, I’m pretty much living a happy life, because I have good friends that are good people around me. I'm just so lucky that I’m blessed with such wonderful friends around me. It's very comforting to know when other things in life get too shitty to handle.

In the end, it doesn't really matter how much friends you have, it is how much they meant to you.
And most importantly, if they do catch you when you falls, will you do the same for them?

Till then...

Phantom of Guilt

2009-11-09T19:27:00.001+08:00

Have u ever felt, in any point of your life that you've been running in circles?
A circle that goes round and round and round...
A circle that completes you, puts you in a steady pace.
A circle that repeats itself, like a daily routine, which keeps you in line, because you are doing the same old thing every single day...
A circle that makes you feel like you belong somewhere in this world, cause it's a circle of things you repeat and fall back into when, once in awhile, you step out of it and things go wrong out of the circle.

There are always downsides to this circle though; life's a bitch after all...

A circle that you just keep repeating non-stop, that you never see the end of it.
A circle that exhausts you so bad and you turn around and realize you have to go through it again the next day.
A circle that keeps you in it and you can't seem to get out of.
A circle that used to complete you starts to take bits and pieces away from you, and you felt like it's starting to eat you up inside.
A circle that goes round and round and round...

I don't ask, its cause there is no point knowing.
I don't say a thing, doesn't mean I don't know.
I don't give a shit, doesn't mean I don't care.
There are things that should be left unsaid, so unnecessary arguments can be avoided.
Honestly, I’m sick of being not good enough, and it's not even to satisfy my ego.
I just want to be taken seriously, appreciated for the person I am.
I'm done trying to prove myself.

I smile, but that doesn't mean I am okay.

Find Your Way

2009-10-29T07:38:00.000+08:00

You lie awake wondering if it was karma that was biting you back in the ass. They say you think too much, but really... is that a crime?

Because you were brought up to believe that nothing lasts forever and when circumstances apply, you start to go inward on yourself. You start wondering if you shouldn't be so paranoid. You do what you think is the opposite of what you feel just to make yourself think everything is alright. Then you open your mind to the fresh possibilities of a new day only to think about it again.

What is going on? Is this all for real? Things start to crush in on you. Once again, your heart doesn't want to get along with your thoughts. This time, your thoughts are the bad guy and you struggle to find out what is going on within yourself before it affects everyone around you.

It's a long long road... but like most things in life, we have to get through it ourselves.

There's No Solution

2009-10-24T16:59:00.000+08:00

All the regret you can put in a sea will be worth less than a wisp of the same vapour if you cannot make salt out of it.

Don't tell me you're sorry and that you'll change. I'd believe you, I'd most delightfully believe you. Except I don't.

Don't tell me you regret it. You don't. If you're gonna make a show, make it a good one. Make it a big production with the bright lights and flouncy costumes, with a grand 300 piece orchestra, ready for a packed audience, with the only one you're out to convince not buying it at all.

Indeed, you don't owe me anything. Unless you took it from me, and it wasn't a gift. I understand if you don't know the value of things and time borrowed. Nothing and everything ever belongs to us. What is mine is mine and it isn't, all at once. If you understand that, you know the only difference in your returning it ultimately lies with whether or not I'll find you worth my effort noticing.

If the idea is too much, don't strain yourself. You're only worth so much to me as you try to be.

Move Your Little Self On

2009-10-21T18:36:00.002+08:00

One day, you think you're done looking, you're done searching. It leaves you feeling empty and you desire nothing else but to be alone. What's better than to make your own decisions without others making it for you? Then you got curious about something.

It came unexpectedly.

It was fate...And the next thing you know, you're committed into something that you think you will never commit yourself to again.

The sudden change in the atmosphere... there is a consciousness within your thoughts that leaves you content. That contentment has not happened for a long time, and finally having it, you can't get enough of it. Your past insecurities don't haunt you as much as you think it will. You are secure and happy and you think it is too good to be true.

Maybe it is, maybe it isn't. We don't know what life would bring us tomorrow, no less today. But as we live it day by day, maybe we'll find that thing that leaves us complete. Maybe we'll learn it in our hearts faster than we learn it in our heads.

P/S.

You always thought you'd finally find something that belongs to you. But as the years past, you realise that nothing lasts forever, nothing is ever really yours. You learn to let go, and it comes to you when you least expect it to. How do you find that perfection in something so imperfect?

You just wait.

That's what I did...

:)

Home :)

2009-10-19T18:56:00.002+08:00

This past two days apart from indulging in my assignments and hanging out with friends, I've been having little trips down to memory lane. It seems that I do this often. Well not on a regular basis of course but now and then. I visited my old blog and I couldn't believe how much I used to spill in my posts back then. I know almost anyone would agree how important blogs have come to serve us in our daily lives; People who don't normally write in journals have come to do the same things through blogging; And what a surprising and pleasant find it is most of the time to find what goes through their minds and to discover how different people see and interpret things, and then to find like you've discovered a missing piece everytime you stumble on a page that seems to speak what you truly feel inside. Of course where we used to spill our hearts in our journal that is meant for our eyes only, it's interesting how technology has been able to create this wave of communication between people from all around the globe sharing insights through their own eyes with the rest of the world. Neat. huh? Of course there are the good and the bad that came with the blog era. But let's leave that for another day. I'm on a train of thoughts which seem to be jumping every few seconds.

Anyway, I think I'll be posting a few more stuff from my old blog cause I'd like to have it all in one place really. This blog was actually intended just for my thoughts, but thoughts is a way of life, no? This is a blog after all. Expression is the name of the game. I guess it wouldn't hurt to have a few wordy posts like this...so, lala~

Back to missing home...

Gratitude

2009-10-17T12:57:00.000+08:00

Hello, peeps! I'm finally feeling much better after a week of torment (!). First of all thank you for dropping by and leaving such lovely comments. I'm so delighted! This whole week has been tinkling on my nerves but it has served to remind me of the many things I might have forgotten whilst being caught up in everyday life...

First of all is my health obviously. It's scary how much we take for granted; not knowing that one day there will be no more undoing of the harm (or lack of care) we've done to our bodies! Whether it's binging on our favorite foods, not stretching or taking a break after hours of sitting at the desk or staring into the monitor, or even letting stress get the best of us. Well I'm not here to give out a lengthy lecture for I am guilty of these things myself.

I know that we shouldn't wait for times when we fall sick or when bad things happen for us to realize and be grateful for what we have. But sometimes and more often than not it happens. Even if you are always counting your blessings!

Well anyway, I just wanted to savour this moment and be thankful for what I have (and don't have!) today.

What are you grateful for today? :)

p/s: thank you my beloveds for being there and allowing me to be myself (and loving me anyways!)

xOxO

Forever & Always

2009-10-14T16:31:00.005+08:00

SICK SICK SICK... and still blogging. More like rambling... so don't read la harh...; p

I've never sneezed so many times a day in my life and here I am sneezing like there's no tomorrow. Some people say that if you sneeze once, someone is talking about you; if you sneeze twice (in a row), someone misses you; and if you sneeze three times (also in a row), someone likes/loves you. (-_-")

In that case, I think many people are talking about me, missing me, and like/love me... wtf!

I think all these are nonsense that people tell you. I find that people want to believe in something and they want an explanation for things; for it to be a sign, be it a small one or a big one. And we tend to hear about it at a young and vulnerable age: in primary and secondary school.

Those were the yesteryears where you want to believe in anything and everything; green, fresh young minds that are open towards anything, accept everything, but forget the small things that are important. We tend to put our friends first instead of our family because we see our friends more than we see our family. At least, that's in my case. In an average of 7 days, I spend more time with my friends - over 42 hours to be exact. From then onwards, I've noticed how crucial friends are and the roles they play in our lives.

This is because I see my friends in school - often times, after school - and even during the weekends. Especially friends who I've closed with like Dickson, Hau, and Loo. I remember being a sensitive, rough and unreasonable person when I was younger and without these three friends, it wouldn't have shaped the person who I am today. Loo who is constantly telling me that I can do whatever I want to do and be great at it; Dickson who cares and has an infectious optimism; Hau who scolds me when I'm being unreasonable with his logic and sensibility.

Then there were classmates I'll never forget who has made me laugh, seen me sad, skipped classes together, talked about anything and everything when the teacher's teaching... Memories that last forever and ever.

Guys, you know who you are =)

And then there were those who actually bothered to keep in touch after high school's over and we see each other grow, go through pain, pleasure, parties, widening our social circle as we enter college and meeting new people who in turn, become amazing friends who cross certain boundaries for you; only because you matter to them and they matter to you. Then when you go up to university, you get to know more people from all over the place. Different towns, cities, states, countries.

But pay attention to the amount of friends who you accumulate along the way. We get a lot of close friends who we swear by in high school. Then when we go up to college, we get a handful of friends who we can trust. In university, we get to know even more people, but there are only a few who we can truly really call a 'friend'.

Where do we go from there? Something for you to ponder =)

"True friendship is a plant of slow growth, and must undergo and withstand the shocks of adversity before it is entitled to the appellation."- George Washington

Things my grandmother always says

2009-10-10T21:13:00.003+08:00

“every time you sneeze it means someone is thinking of you and misses you, so don’t get so sad when you have a flu okay?”

“eat some more. goodness knows i haven’t cooked enough for you to eat.”

“never mind if your hands are cold, it means you have a warm heart.”

“but I like that song. play it again for me.”

“You see, you have long slender fingers. they weren’t meant for hard labour. they were meant for ladylike things, like writing and typing and painting. my hands were meant for labour. but yours are not.”

“I’m getting old and forgetting things, my dear, please forgive me.”

“Dear various gods up above, please protect my grandchildren from harm, keep them safe and happy always, especially when they are in another country, far far away.”

I miss you and love you, popo. I always expect you to be there every time I go home because you always have been. and I’m terrified to no end since the day you leave us.

How should I love you?
How could i feel you?
Without you..

Even though I can't see you anymore, your memory will live in my heart
Forever....
As well as love does, so I won't say.... Good bye

For no reason

2009-09-21T13:56:00.004+08:00

After some thought, I figured that I am a little hypocritical when it comes to people. I don't trust people easily. It takes a long while for me to warm up to people. But that's just the way I am. I believe that it takes some time to know how/who people are... And at the end of the day if we choose to accept them for who they are, then we proceed with the friendship. I'm not saying that we should see what we can benefit from the person by being friends with them...

What I'm saying is that we have to get to know them better first before letting them into our lives. There are some people who may appear nice on the outside, but when you get to know them, they are really the kind who you just don't want as a friend. I've never really met anyone like that before. But I do know that there are a number of people out there who just don't like me because of the way I am/dress/look. In all honesty, that's fine with me because people who judge me too quickly don't deserve my time.

I have a friend who does this: he gets to know someone a little better first, if he sees that they are not the kind who he wants around him, he ignores them. I guess this is where the hypocritical part comes in:

Torn between not wanting to judge someone, and yet be wary about their intentions just because you're careful that way.

I realize that as I grow older and meet more people, I become very wary. I say things I normally wouldn't say so they wouldn't know the real me until I think they're safe enough to be my friend. Don't judge me for doing that. Sometimes; sad to say, we need to safeguard ourselves and our hearts before letting people into our lives.

I've had the experience of letting someone into my life just to see that person walk away. After all the time spent being close friends and spilling your guts out, people WILL hurt you no matter what happens.

The worse is when they walk away without a clear explanation and you're left wondering what you've done wrong when really, you haven't done anything wrong. They just don't want to be your friend anymore for petty reasons. And there are the few that will come into your life just to take you for granted.

Those who have been friends with me for a long time know that I will:

1. Be honest with them, no matter how painful the truth may be. Then when they do cry because it hurts, I'll give them my shoulder to lean on. Heck, I can always change and wash the tear-stained shirt!

2. I'll do my very best for them when they need my help.

3. When everyone gives up, I won't give up. A true friend is someone who walks in when the rest of the world walk out.

4. I'll listen, but I'll also respect your privacy by keeping mum about it. You must have trusted me enough to tell me your problems and secrets. I treasure the trust in a friendship more than anything else. *I will only tell people on the occasion that they should be more tactful in front of you*

5. Loyalty... of course! But in my opinion if you are in the wrong, I will tell you. I don't sugar coat things and simply agree with you just because you're my friend. *read #1 again*

Longing 〜跡切れたmelody〜

2009-08-22T20:08:00.010+08:00

Some days, you can't help but be thankful to friends who are around you. They tell you to stop wallowing in self-pity. They tell you to stop blaming yourself. But when you're left alone at night, the feelings come back to you. The comforting words that your friends mention to you during the day just fades away and you're stuck; back in square one.

What you thought was a good day that ended with laughter suddenly fades and you're afraid that the pain will return. And it does.. slowly. You don't want to sleep because you're afraid to wake up to the pain again. Waking up to the pain means asking yourself "Why?". It goes on and on like a broken record.

Just like how night comes, it feels like that in your heart. It envelops everything around you slowly.. turning dark at first then every bit of light fades away. Next thing you know, you're keeping your night light on because that is the physical light that you can get. You are in denial that the emotional darkness has covered you completely. You're finding it difficult to sleep because you know that you'll find yourself difficult to sleep. And when you do, your eyes will swell the next day and people will know.

They'll know you've been weak the night before and they treat you with utter care. Not that you mind but the part of you that is in denial protests heavily. You want everything to go back to normal knowing that it won't be that way anymore. Everything is broken but you try to go on with life knowing that you're leaving something very important behind...

Screaming Blue

2009-07-13T20:36:00.007+08:00

V : I'm afraid I have to go now, love.
Because I have to find my heart of truth.

A : What? What did you say?
What are you trying to say?
Are you ok?

V : I think so. I think I am.

A : What's wrong with you?

V : I was only thinking about my life.

A : Your life? Now?
Are you with me?
Why do you have to think of your life right now?

V : I'm not sure.
But I have to be somebody.

A : Why?
Don't you love yourself?
Don't you love who you are?

V : I don't know.
I can not explain.
But I can tell you one thing.
I don't wanna lose myself in the tide of time.

A : I don't understand what you're saying.
Maybe you are out of your mind.
Do whatever you wanna do.
Oh. Where are you going?

V : I'm gonna go and stop the flow of time.
Though I don't know where.

***********************************

V : Hi. I'm so sorry.
Sorry to have kept you waiting.

A : Not at all.
But you have to tell me where you've been.

V : Do I? I don't have to tell you.
You know where I've been.
I haven't been a reflection in your eyes,
But I've been living in your heart.

A : Are you asking me to kill you?

V : No, just kidding.
Actually, I've been wandering between reality and illusion.

A : How did you like it?

V : I couldn't find any answer.
But I found the hill.
There, the time doesn't pass by.
But the scenery goes by with the time.
So when I found the beautiful windmill,
It flew away, just like Love.

***********************************

V : And now, tell me the time.

A : Eleven.

V : Do you wanna walk toward twelve o'clock?
Or do you wanna go to that hill?
Though the morning light will never shine there.

A : What are you talking about?
You'd better look at the reality.
But...I think I can understand a little...just a little.

V : We don't have to go there.
Our time doesn't have to do anything with the past
Nor the future, not even the morning light.
Let's throw them all away, our watches too.

A : OK.

V : Wait a second.
I'll set my watch to 4:00 Am.

A : Why?
Is there any special meaning?

V : No.
We just throw the time away. You and I. Nothing more.
That's all.

A - Annonymous

M.J.

2009-07-03T15:35:00.000+08:00

I respected Michael Jackson for his overwhelming presence, of course,

but I wasn’t necessarily a huge fan of his.

So why am I so incredibly shocked?

It feels like there’s a gaping hole in my heart…

Michael Jackson was a genius and a rare breed of entertainer.

I pray that he has a peaceful journey,

and that he’s found some relief from the unimaginable pressure he had been under for so many years.

From my heart, I hope that he can “Rest in Peace & Fly Away…”

VINCE

Anniversary

2009-05-31T17:14:00.007+08:00

One month has already passed since the last Futsal tournament at FAM Kelana Jaya.

I really wish I could say that my body and mind are at ease,

and that I’ve been savoring days filled with silence, but I’ve been amazingly busy.

It feels like my legs might fall off and I might collapse,

but I’ve been pushing forward at full speed.

But time has passed since the tournament,

and my mind and the situation are gradually improving and moving forward.

Your voices and your existence bring me salvation, which I am so grateful for.

I’ve been so unbelievably busy since this year began

that I haven’t really had the time to look at myself.

I’ve also neglected the series of blog posts that I write every once in a while,

so I’m going to write one now.

I’m sure you all realize that 2009 is a very important turning point.

After all, it’s the twenty-second anniversary of my birth!

I can’t believe it!

Getting older is suddenly a frightening thing…no matter how much you resist,

you’re powerless against the natural flow of things.

Twenty-two years have passed since 1987,

which was in a sense a very important year both for me and for the world.

It was the year that Supernova 1987A, the first "naked-eye" supernova since 1604, is observed.

It was the year of rock'n'roll that saw the founded of independent label "Extasy Records" by Yoshiki of X Japan and the debut of Guns N' Roses,

and also the last year until 2013 with four distinct digits.

This year is also the fourth anniversary since I finished the NS programme.

Four years ago on March 14, we met each other for the first time.

I truly can’t believe that four years have passed since that day.

So much has happened since then.

We’ve gone through some crazy things, left our mark in various ways,

met all types of people, (sort of) become adults, and some even had families.

From the bottom of my heart, I want to express my gratitude for the fact that

we are still living our life with the same passion as before,

for all of the people who have walked along with us on our journey,

for all of the people involved with us in various occasion.

From now on, I want to continue treasuring the precious thing known as Friendship,

to live together with it, and to share that deep emotion with you all.

Today, twenty-two years since it all began, I find myself here in Nic's house.

Strangely enough, I’m here to celebrate my birthday party with my NS friends for the first time since we left the camp.

I don’t know if it’s fate or something inevitable, but my journey is certainly a turbulent one.

I haven’t meet some of them in here in a long time,

and together with my beloved friends.

I’m going to have a blast at my party.

Love,

Vincent

Violet UK

2009-05-26T19:01:00.004+08:00

BLOOD IS JUST AN ORNAMENT, THE REAL PAIN IS DEEP INSIDE.

NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU BLEED, YOU CAN'T FIND THE ANSWER.

NO MATTER HOW HARD YOU CRY, YOU CAN'T DRAIN YOUR SORROW.

MAYBE IT'S TIME.....TIME TO BELIEVE IN YOUR OWN EXISTENCE.

MAYBE IT'S TIME TO ROCK THE WORLD.

IT'S YOU....YOU GUYS MADE ME THINK THIS WAY.

THANK YOU!!!

LOVE

VINCENT

NIGHT OF MADNESS

2009-05-13T20:43:00.014+08:00

Hi everyone!

I wanted to thank some of you for the comments on the last blog regarding.............

I'm sorry, I don't want to make you feel depressed or anything likes that….. But some of you have been asking me about this, so I had to say something…… just let me….. Have…… a little more time……

I still haven't figured out what to do with this matter….. But when I decide, please know that each one of you helped me with this decision, which I really appreciate!!!

OK…… let me change the subject…….

Maybe I'll just talk about my birthday party with my NS friends. It’s still ten days away from my birthday, but we decided to make it earlier.

First of all, the party was very awesome. Thank you so much for all your wishes and support, even to those who couldn't attend…..

To be honest, there were a lot of things to organize before the party, especially the last 2 days I barely slept…… but it was worth it, when I saw everybody smiling…. That's it, it just made me happy!!!

The night of the 8th, all of us came to Nic’s house (Thanks Nic for letting me to held the party at his home). We were just eating and drinking…. Suddenly Gerard asked Nic if he could jump into the pool….. He said "sure!"…… right after that, Kian Yoong asked me if I could throw him into the pool…… I said….. Why??? Then he said that was one of his dreams…… (I thought that was a strange wish)……. I said ……. OK!!! Well…… after two of them were in the pool….. I was like….. You know what …… WHY NOT!!! I jumped into the pool as well…… after I jumped….. Everyone started jumping in.

As far as I remember, it was probably around 1 or 2 A.M., and everyone jumped in with their clothes on…… I think???

We ended up drinking and swimming until 5 A.M. (I feel sorry for the neighbors because we were so loud, but that was one of the best rock and roll party I've had in several years!!!).

PS:

Last month my cousin came to town, and we both went to dinner….. Pretty much just the two of us…… Actually that was really funny….. He came to my house and ate dinner…… that was good….. Then I said to him "why don't we go out to dinner?” And he said "we just ate…..." then I said "I want to eat different food….." well.... we ate Chinese food at my house, and then ended up going out to a Chinese restaurant in the town….. (We are very weird…. Ha, ha, ha, ha)…… but that was fun!!!

Damn I spilled the water again.....

MISERY

2009-05-06T09:08:00.014+08:00

The United player stretches across Fabregas and gets the merest touch on the ball as the Spaniard bursts through on goal

In his follow through, Fletcher brings his opponent crashing down (above and below)

Leaving ref Rosetti little choice but to give the United man his marching orders

What has Darren Fletcher ever done to deserve such an injustice?

The Manchester United midfielder has been playing superbly for his club all season and tonight was no different. The hard working Scot played his part in one of the great United European performances.

Sadly, Fletcher has made the mistake of being too committed and will pay possibly the ultimate sacrifice.

Only a World Cup Final is a bigger game for a European player and we all know there is little chance of the United midfielder missing out on one of those.

But he will miss the UEFA Champions League Final after wearing his heart on his sleeve.

With Manchester United up 3-0, Darren Fletcher tracked his man into the United box and even though he knew the danger, he refused to let Arsenal score and made an amazing tackle, which the referee has deemed a foul by the last man.

The red card was swift but totally unjustified as replay’s show he clearly won the ball. The tackle was superb, the commitment was 110% but the dream is over.

This injustice will be doubled as there are no appeals.

Darren Fletcher will yet again sit out of a Champions League final after watching on as a substitute as Man United lifted the trophy last season.

Told in the summer he had to improve if he wanted more game time, the Scot has had a terrific season starting on a regular basis and has proved to everyone he does deserve to wear the red and white of United.

Those performances led him to tonight where he started in United’s biggest game of the season as a trusted and loyal servant.

Where is the appeals process?

How can the footballing world standby and let such a travesty take place. As football fans, we all dream of playing on such occasions and in all honesty there should be a way for such a terrific mistake to be overturned.

The footballing Gods have a lot to answer for as they have punished a man, who is not only honest but probably one of the hardest working professionals in the world game.

He is not world class, he is not a match winner but he is an example to millions of young boys that with plenty of heart and determination, you can make every dream come true.

Well nearly every dream, sorry Darren, we as fans, salute you.

ART OF LIFE

2009-04-17T11:36:00.003+08:00

Working together as a team is not something new to me.

I can work with a lot of people, it is a knowledge to get along with every single person in the world.

Working with different people with different ways, Its good for me to have a chance to learn how to get along with human.

Even if I had gotten along with a person for some time, I still need plenty of time to speak their language and try to laugh at their jokes.

Please don't misunderstand.

I don't mean that my jokes are funny and are up to so called date joke, but I just need time to adjust my laughing nerve to get used to the point that i have to laugh. Or maybe I m juz trying to laugh from the bottom of my heart but I just could not.

Too many things bothering me at the moment. However I'm sure I'll be alright soon. Devils and Angels are fighting inside, the fight will end soon i hope....

TELL ME WHY

2009-04-16T14:27:00.019+08:00

Hi everyone! I think I have a lot to tell you; including Futsal tournament, my holiday in Singapore, and…..

I've been trying to find the time to write in the Blog about my recent life.

OK…… let me change the subject…….

More than 2 months ago, I had a photo shoots for "TOUGH JEANS SMITH" at 1Utama.....

I was so exhausted on the next day after the futsal tournament, but I did not want to cancel this since I promised my fren that I'll follow him there….. So I did them….. Well I guess its very fun!

But it was a very visual rock photo shoot. I'll post some pictures later.

Some of them remind me of the Visual Kei style. Some of them were Goth.

Anyway, considering the amount of things we had to do….. Our photographer, and staff did an amazing job…… they rocked. Thank you!

Wow……. I got hacked. I only realized that few days ago!!

A lot of friends sent me messages about a post in my blog that I never knew about. People also asked "Was it really you?"

I guess you know me very well. I rarely post something like that.

Also some people felt that I would get pissed off and shut down my blog……

Anyways, the problem has been fixed, and not to worry…. I don't hate my blog yet.....

Maybe the hacker is right: I should check and update my blog more oftenly to prevent this kind of incident again. ha ha ha ha…..! (Hopefully that hacker's stunt didn't cause any problems for anyone.)

……..OOPS!!! I just spilled the melted chocolate ice cream on the keyboard…… AHHHHH… AHHHHHHH!!!!!…… I'm so clumsy….. Well I should go and clean my desk…. bye!!

PS:

Of course I have to mention a special yet weird dish I saw in Singapore… what was the name?.... I think it's called STONE CRAB.... "Not Stoned Crab"... they only take one claw and let them go back to the ocean....... anyway it looks so yummy, but still I need to overcome the strong fishy smell of seafood which I'm failed over the years!! And also.... I didn't eat strawberry cake at the restaurant, even though I wanted to........... Mom, see!... I listened to you a little! (I was fine with the crab, maybe I'm not allergic to them anymore. Hopefully strawberries too!) bye bye!

A NEW HOPE HAS ARRIVED

2009-01-30T10:24:00.000+08:00

January is important because it is the month that President Obama takes office! It's only a few days away. The whole world has great expectations for the new administration in America. America has gone through eight years of an unskilled, unrefined, and egocentric government. Now, America and everyone else in the world can share the hope that their patience will be fulfilled and that their new leader will be an intelligent one. Truly, a historical event will take place this month.

How can we weather the economic crisis shaking the foundations of our world? What is the next step for security and protection against terrorism? How can we improve the complicated situation in the Middle East – we can't just let the tragedy in the Gaza Strip keep going on. And what about energy policy? Will the new administration actually work towards freeing us from our dependence on fossil fuels? Will they advance policies for sustainable, renewable types of energy? Either way, the world can't wait. The planet can't wait.

There are many unprecedented and difficult problems awaiting President Obama when he takes office, but I can't help but have great hope for America's new leader.

X JAPAN WORLD TOUR - LIVE IN HONG KONG

2009-01-21T11:47:00.009+08:00

◇1月17日(土) 破壊の夜 in HONGKONG

◇1月16日(金) 破壊の夜 Extra

会場：ASIA WORLD EXPO

開場：18:30／開演：20:00

The article on the first, overseas concert publishes in the newspaper of Hong Kong.

50% & 50%

2009-01-19T13:13:00.009+08:00

A Happy Rockin’ New Year 2009!!!

Happy New Year! ...or rather, Happy Late New Year!

All of a sudden, 2009 has turned into a dizzying series of storms and it feels like I'm on the verge of destruction, but somehow I'm hanging on and having a good time. (^_^;)

I've wanted to finish writing this for several days, but I caught my first cold in a while and have been putting off all of the things I have to do (>_<). I haven't had such a high fever (39 degrees...) in so long…I felt like I was burnt. And I couldn't stand, which was pretty scary…

I caught some kind of horrible virus on the way back from AIMST. When I got back, I was immediately plunged into a hell of gatherings that lasted until the middle of the night. Then it got so bad that I had no choice but to accept the advised of my mom to be put on medicine before heading to FUTSAL training session early the next morning. It's definitely hard to not be able to get enough sleep…I felt like a corpse in the bus from my home to the training ground.

I've finally emerged from the depths of sickness and am feeling a lot better, though. I'm really in awe of my own astounding resilience, and I'm sorry for making everyone worry! m(_ _)m

Well let me get to the point…… I want to talk about X Japan….. That word "X"….. "X Japan"……

The show in Hong Kong was X JAPAN's first overseas concert, and I'm really glad that they finally kick start their World Tour. The two days of fantastic shows were really filled with energy and beauty, and I think the quality of the shows was the best since X JAPAN got back together. And I definitely feel that HIDE also had a great time at X JAPAN's first overseas show. Overall the show was great…… full of energy, and….. Every time I see them perform, it makes me want to rock…… I'm learning a lot of different genres of music……. from classical to…… whatever…… but I think I really love rock. I'm trying to pick up drums since I was 13 years old…… well, actually learning the piano from my siblings since age 10 as well, but stopped when I was in secondary school.

When I got back to home, I started work on the two upcoming FUTSAL tournaments that will be held on 10th and 17th. It’s been ages since the last we trained and played together so there is an insane amount of things to do in two weeks of time. (>_<) I'm really concerned about whether we can get it done in time. I guess all I can do is just give myself up to the flow and hope things work out.

In a lot of different ways, this year is an important one to me. I'm going to work to my full potential and keep on pursuing my dreams. How are things going to turn out? In any case, as long as I'm alive, I want to give my whole body and soul to working on all of the things I get involve, and expressing the things I want to share.

In any case, 2009 is going to be a very important year, And I humbly ask for everyone love and support. m(_ _)m

VINCENT

Seize the Light

2009-01-14T22:46:00.002+08:00

Have you ever known someone who you thought you knew but ended up not knowing he/she really is at the end of the day? Sometimes I wonder if I’m giving people that kind of impression and I’m also afraid of meeting people who are like that. If you’ve had a friend who you thought you were close with but they suddenly turn their backs on you, you know it hurts more than it shows. It’s been more than a year, and recently, I heard of that person again and I can’t help but wonder what is it that I’ve ever done wrong as a friend to deserve what happened. I found out about the lame and stupid excuses and I honestly think that’s not the case. When I continued my studies in AIMST, I somehow didn’t want to make any friends initially. I felt that if I did, then I’d have to keep my distance and be the distant friend that is there but isn’t really there. But that’s not the point. The point is how people can change rapidly from one thing to another that you can’t catch up with them. And when they see that you can’t change at the same pace that they are, you’re left behind; another one bites the dust. This makes me question my friendship with everyone around me that I call ‘friend’. Friends, who’re reading, please don’t get me wrong. It’s my problem to deal with…

LEMONed I Scream

2009-01-07T20:08:00.014+08:00

Hi everyone!

I don't know where to start. Whether it's good or bad, so many things are going on!!!

Well, I just got back from driving.
There are so many things happening around me…..

And it's very exciting, but….. I'm a little bit stressed out…..

So I put VUK and X Japan into the car, and I blasted the sound as loud as can be, and drove to somewhere xx miles an hour….. AHHH that felt good!!!

Now it's the time of day for me to practice the piano with guidance from my sibling…… mmmm.....

AHHH….. HANON exercises are so boring….. Maybe…… I should skip it and play BACH tonight......

....mmmm….. Maybe I should eat some chocolate cake first, and I should…..

Well I'm just procrastinating….. Ha ha ha ha!

P/S.

OK…… I wrote this part a week ago when I was just back from AIMST. I wrote it, but as soon as I finished typing, I had to start helping my mom cleaning the house…… and doing everything else. So I didn't have time at all. It sounds a bit strange, but since I wrote it, I'll post it anyway.

The day before yesterday, in the airplane on the way back to home, I had a really weird dream….. I almost….. Well, I think I screamed!! The flight attendant came to me and said "Are you OK? ....." Then I said "THE RICE MONSTER IS TRYING TO EAT ME!!!"….. And she said……. "WHAT????" and I said……mmmm……ah……. "Never mind……ah….. Could I have a glass of water please?" ……. OH MY GOD!!!..... "I am so embarrassed"….. I've been doing a "special diet" and training, in order for me to get back my flat stomach….. Since then "THE RICE MONSTER" has been showing up in my dreams. Ha ha ha ha ha!!!

Guess what..... I just ate one of the best ICE CREAMS I've ever had, and its low carb..... I don't think life is that bad..... Or I should say life is fucking wonderful!!!!!!!

ever free

2008-12-27T18:39:00.016+08:00

Merry Xmas

Hope you all had a great holiday.

Sorry but I've been so busy, I haven't been able to update my blog for a long time. I've been trying to find the time to write in the blog about my recent life. But….. Ah….. I wish I could have 25 hours a day….. so at least I can have an hour to talk to everyone on messenger and write about my feelings…..

I just want to be close to everyone of you…..

And I really really want to thank you for all those wishes and messages for..... and everything else.... I'm still reading some of those in between studies.

Then I started writing a blog, which I'm not good at…. but some of my friends responded to it with such sweet messages…. even though I get hate email sometimes, asking why I'm not responding to their email….......... well….......... very cute! …...... and I still love you!! It sounds like a one way street, but it's not…. I may hate and lazy to respond with email, but your feelings are always play a big role in affecting me in a good way.

I might have said before, when you're studying somewhere else for a long time and pretty much shutting out everything from the outside world…. you start losing your sense of reality, and your mind starts drifting to the depth of the strange ocean of thoughts. You start thinking of the meaning of life.... or start losing the meaning of who you are, even the meaning of your existence…. Well sometimes I secluded myself intentionally from the outside…. but I was on the edge….

Yes, today is Christmas…. I'm alone at my room, preparing for my final…. But I'm OK, I wanted to keep revising…. So hopefully I can deliver in the exam, and many more…. Then after the final, I can start everything I've been long for so much times…. and I can't wait to meet up with all of you in person!!!!

It's cold in AIMST…. God! I guess it was so cold as well at other regions…. Please take care and don't catch a cold.

And again, I wish you all a merry Christmas and happy holidays!

Love,

Vincent

P/S.

....I'm dreaming.....

....I want to go to China, to see Pandas and Tigers.....

....I want to go to Egypt, ride on Camels.

....to Africa, to see Elephants.....

....I love Chinese food, French wine, Italy for tiramisu.......yum yum!!!.....

........................................................................haha!!

....OF COURSE I NEED TO FINISH MY FINAL FIRST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HURRY GO ROUND

2008-12-13T14:16:00.005+08:00

I always wanted to live my life to the fullest, enjoy every bit of it and make sure it is worth living on this planet. Optimistic is always the way I want things to be put as and wish for the best positive results in everything that happens.

Even when the worst had to happen,
SMILE before you think its the end of the world,
even though its the end of the world,
you are still looking at your best.

I am always too afraid to ask too much in life, too much of happiness, too much of freedom, too much of laughter. Things come and go in life, at times when it fades it will have a bigger impact compare when we don't expect anythings at all. To make myself happy, I try not to expect things at all. I appreciate every beautiful things that happened deep down but I won't hope for the second time.

Of course there are many ups and downs in life. I wish I could held a helping hand to peoples that are down in their life now and try to make them understand that life is worthwhile. Enjoy it while we are able to.

Pre - Bio Fair 08'

2008-11-22T21:46:00.007+08:00

Bio Fair 08' [FS 08]

2008-11-09T17:53:00.019+08:00

Compromise. Simplicity. Complete.

2008-10-23T19:56:00.009+08:00

I love those three words, not because they are long, but because of the meaning it holds in my heart. Why do I like these words? Because it represents what I want out of life.

Some people might want a great career with posh cars and lavish homes.

But not me.

I want a simple life, and be surrounded by people who compromise with me. That is what I think will make me feel complete. There are those who might say that there are other things you'll have to think of later on in life, and compromise will be the least of your worries...

Debateable, I agree. But who are we to say what's going to happen in 2 years let alone 20? We all have different views in how we want our lives to work out and this is mine. Also, we go through a variety of different experiences in life.

Some don't appreciate life, whereas some languish in it because they see how precious life is. Some think for what's to come today, whereas some think for the next ten years.
Some feel sad when in fact, they can choose to do things that will lift their spirits.

We make choices everyday that lead us to who we are today. One thing I've learnt is to never make choices that will lead to regret. I have never regretted everything I've done ever since I left high school. Everything is an experience and if we don't acquire it, we will never know what it really is.

Like I learned from my secondary school basketball coach, “If you don't risk it, you don't win it”

So, what's it going to be?

No matter how many scars we procure from these experiences, they will be a lesson, not regret.

PROLOGUE

2008-10-19T09:24:00.001+08:00

I’ve realize that I’m changing, and it’s for the best. It’s like I’m looking at things from another person’s eyes. And I’m not afraid to say that I like the change. I really do. I don’t think people will notice it, but I realize that I am. Maybe I’m changing on the inside. Like how I think. Now I take time out to sort through my feelings and thoughts just to come up with a conclusion that satisfies both! He-he… I guess you can say I think too much, but seriously, this time its thinking for the better!